Sunday, April 3, 2011

I Have to Become "That Mom"

WARNING:  The is not a happy...birds are has been a wonderful weekend blog post.  So if that is what you were hoping for, you make want to run - not walk....this blogger is frustrated!!!

At what point as a parent do you cease giving your child the benefit of the doubt?  When do you become that obnoxious micro-managing parent because you know that if you aren't, the things that need to get done simply won't get done?  Sadly, I believe that my time has come.

Let me preface this rant by saying that I share custody of my son with his dad.  We each have him 50 percent of the time.  Let me also say that it really all actuality I miss out on half of his life.  I will not bore you with all the specifics of why his dad and I are not together, but we do try to do what is best for our son.  With all the being said I will be the first to admit that sometimes I want to just have a fun filled weekend with Zach, with hardly a care in the world.  I believe that as a single parent I have a tendency to want to compensate for him being from a broken home and this is where I am getting into trouble.  He had a sleep over on Friday at a friends house and to be honest when he asked if he could go every ounce of my being wanted to scream...."no way, it is my weekend I want you to be with me!".  Not to worry - I did not become "that mom".  He went to the sleepover and I picked him up Saturday morning and we went about the rest of our weekend.  Fast forward to after dinner tonight.  I told him after dinner he needed to take a shower, finish his food log for school, and do some reading.  The minute I told him that it was time for his shower...the back talk started.  Once he got through the shower, he picked up a book and started to read....when I told him that he needed to do his food log first because that would actually be graded he informed me that he left it at school.  I told him to get a piece of notebook paper and write the log there....I was of course met with eye rolling resistance.  He finally told me that he was done and went back to reading.  When it got to be bed time, I went to kiss him good night and tuck him in.  There was an entire day missing from the food log and in over an hour and a half he had barely finished one chapter.  Zachary is a really good reader.....three or four chapters in that amount of time is a lot more like it.  I admit it - I flew off the handle!  He seems to have found every single one of my buttons and seems to reveling in pushing each and every one of them. 

So, as of this evening I guess I officially become "that mom".  That mom that micro-manages her child, stands over him while he does his homework and firmly sticks to the absolutely no fun until all the non-fun stuff is done rule.  I hate that I have to become her, but I am also not willing to let my son become one of "those kids".   The rude, disrespecting....I don't care kind of kids that seem to be running rampant these days.  He is a really good kid, and I see sooooo much potential - but we are definitely going through a phase right now and it is not much fun for either of us I am afraid.  My goal right now is to be strong, stick to my guns and pray a lot.  I am hoping with a little work and determination, he and I will both come out on the other side stronger for the sacrifices.

Now that I have gotten all that off my chest, I am feeling a little better...have a little more resolve and would love to share that there were in fact some high points to the weekend.   Zachary's soccer team won their third game of the season.  We went to the matinee of "Hop", had a load of fun, and sang "I Want Candy"  all the way home from the theater.  That is the kind of stuff that you just can't beat.  All too soon it will no longer be OK to be at the show with your mom and when I sing and dance in the car, my sweet little "baby" will roll his eyes and tell me to stop because I am embarrassing him.  I guess maybe the moral of this post is that this is just one of the many trials of parenthood.  Am I bet!  But I wouldn't trade it for the world.  That "mouthy, eye rolling. I know everything and you know nothing" ten year old is the light of my life.  I pleaded and prayed for that little guy and God gave me exactly what I asked for and I have to be willing to take the good and the bad.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!  Even with the rough end to the was still "A Beautiful Day"!  Night...I am off to give that boy one last kiss and squeeze.

Talking strategy with the Coach Dawn

Mom....why are you taking pictures?????

I love that boy!!!!!

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